Friday, February 27, 2009

The beginning of a new (happy/miserable) life...?

Today was somewhat more eventful than usual, I suppose. I went to look for housing with another freshman from my class. I realised most of the students are looking for housing within the area, which I also realised is a really shitty idea. The real estate agents that the school appointed us with is complete phail. We went to look at a few apartments, they were all extremely old, moldy, dark, and overall, like a haunted house. I was very disturbed. After looking at a bunch of houses in the area, and coming the the conclusion that for some odd reason, a fashion design school is located within a freaking ghetto area of a big somewhat fashionable city, I decided to move on to the next neighbourhood around. After eating a simple, yet enjoyable lunch of Hong Kong style shrimp dumpling noodles, we continued our search for the perfect flat. "Us" would include, me, the other student, her father, and my mum. The result, was also disappointing. The only difference with these houses, is that they were larger in terms of space, but nonetheless disturbingly unhygienic and old. 

The first few apartment flats were old in appearance, and just by looking from the outside of the apartment gates, one can assume that the interior would not be very impressive. As expected, they were not. For most of these flats, we had to climb old flights of stone stairs as there were no elevators. Yes, that's how old it is. It's those houses that were made before 1990's. Making my way in (very very reluctantly), a sudden stench plowed up my nose. Hmm, that might not be the correct word, but I'm eavesdropping on a Chinese conversation right now, so my train of thought is not completely clear at the moment, pardon my foolishness, fellow non-existent readers. Anyways, I didn't even dear take pictures, since it was horrifying to the extent that I don't want to even remember. 

There were no sources of light from any visible windows. The furniture were all wooden and already starting to rot/decay from moisture from the weather. The walls were covered in pipe leakage stains, and were a sickly shade of yellow from ceiling to floor. The toilet... was clogged. Mattresses had damned piss stains on them, and to top it all off, there were even springs jutting out from the sad excuse of a bed. Yes, it was this sad, and it wasn't even the worse house I've seen so far.

After about six or seven more houses that had this unseemingly morbid interior design, I was about to give up and just live on the streets. I honestly feel that sleeping on the streets or sewers are cleaner in comparison. 

We met with another real estate agent from a more well known company, and he brought us to two houses. The first one was in a red brick building, looked pretty decent from the outside, as it wasn't so old. After walking in to the apartment, a really strong stench of KFC grease was apparent throughout the WHOLE house, for some weird and unknown reason. Added with the heater and stuffiness, it was so overbearing that I felt like vomiting. There were tacky wooden furnishings everywhere, and apparently, they were "imported" from all the way from America. She spent thousands of dollars remodeling, but made the house look extremely tacky and unpleasant. Wow. Sad. 

So, I was already half dead by the time we made it to the second house. When we opened the door I was actually surprised. IT WAS CLEAN! OH LORD ALMIGHTY IT WAS CLEAN! Not only that, the interior overall was actually quite cute. I really like one room and I claimed it immediately. It was small, but just the way I like it. It had a connecting balcony that I feel like I can live in. In fact, I think I'll live on the balcony, hahahaha. I will take pictures of that when I move in tomorrow.

After moving in tomorrow, I'l go to IKEA and Carrefour for some shopping. Anyways, the girl I met is quite nice, her name is Jane, and she's about a year older than me, although she looks much more mature than that, haha. She'll be my flatmate. Also a freshman. I also met another girl from my class today, so I guess in total I only know 2 people in my class out of 27. Everyone looks so much older than me! But I think it's just because most of the girls dress up that way. I don't know why. I hope they don't end up to be those snobby, spoilt rich kids who think they're better than everyone else. D; Although, it'd be quite funny to see how to treat each other when all of them have the same mindset. Haha. Well, I think it'd be nice to make friends with everyone, since I'll have to see their face everyday for at least two more years.

I don't feel attached to any people anymore though. Don't know.

Will update on anything interesting. Have to go buy school supplies on Monday! 

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The road to the shining palace is still far from reach.

I didn't take any pictures of Beijing, because it was complete fail and disappointment. Haha. Anyways, I'm in Shanghai now, went to look at the school today, and it was overall satisfactory. I now have a confirmed goal, I will work hard and hope I can fulfill my dream of becoming a musician. 

So I went to look at this school today and the people are pretty good, so I guess the competition will be more difficult, keeping my on my toes. But everyone is so "France-orientated" in terms of fashion design styles, whilst I have my own. I corporate, I suppose, VK and British Goth Punk, and randomness of my own. I compared being a musician as a career and a fashion designer. Even though many adults protest against music as a career, for some reason fashion is alright? It's kind of pointless since it's both the same amount of risk taken. 

I'm planning to integrate music into my designs. Basically, my concept and inspiration is music. My main plan, if I ever get to become somewhat well known in the industry, then I'll ask my favourite bands to model for me. During runway shows, instead of walking around like fags on stage, I'll have them perform! Revolutionary! Haha. I'll make clothes according to a band's "style". Then have artist collaborations! Then, I'll find a band from there after getting aquainted with the scene once again. I hope. D;

I admit the main designers that appear on VOGUE and such now have nice designs, but I want to design clothes that musicians would want to wear, not for Paris Hilton clones who just want to follow the latest trend. I want to make clothes that fit well on normal people, not those 180cm anorexic models who feed off grass and Evian. I mean, seriously, 97% of those designer brand name clothes ONLY look nice worn by models on the runways, but when a normal person wears it looks sick.

Since it's decided now I'll stay in Shanghai, I'm looking for housing now, and school starts in 3 days! ;o

I'm somewhat anticipating. I have been slacking my whole life, I hope to get out of that mode now and try my hardest for something. Please give me support! Thank you non-existent readers! 

Good night! 

 

Sunday, February 22, 2009

走る。

And thus, the journey begins.

浮雲

大嫌いな望見 触れないように武器も持たず嘘泣き歩いた
真っ赤に膨れた風船みたい 手を放せば空の彼方溶けてゆくの?

銃口は音もなく小さな煙吐き出しては鮮血に染められた
これ以上抱き締めたって きっと割れちゃうの、分かってたの。

僕らが描いてたあの空は儚く消えてしまうの?
支えられた浮雲のように手を取りずっと…

明日の支度もあるけど 今日は早めに眠らせて
夢でなら壊せずに どこまでも育てられるでしょう

今こそ勇気をもって戦場に華咲かせよう
愛して止まない君の最期に夢色の旗掲げよう

誰かが描いてた青空に僕らは立っていられたの?
瞳を閉じれば溢れて零れるよ ずっと忘れないよ

心配しないで きっと大丈夫さ
見上げることは止めないから
また会える時まで笑顔で交わそう
Good-bye

ライラック

風に揺れて消えていった
淡く 脆く 儚い君

君と二人で歩いた道のあの花は
もう色をつけたかな?

時がたつたび この辛さも あの約束さえも忘れていくの?

1つだけのマフラーに二人で寄り添いながら
夢を語り笑い合った 寒さも忘れて
目を閉じれば君がまた抱き締めてくれる気がした
耳をすませば君がまだ笑ってる気がして…

君をなくしたあの時から
生きる意味さえ分からずに
もう二度と会えない…
分かってるのに
ずっと君を思うよ…。

本当に今までありがとう
最後の君の言葉
バカだね あたし…
泣いてばかりで なんにも言えずに…。

やがて君は目を閉じて静かに眠りについた
疲れたでしょ ごめんなさい
なんにもできずに…

君の好きな春がもう来てるよ…
あたし歌うよ君に届くように…。

Toys are objects that can be thrown away or treasured.

Suddenly, abruptly, it hit me that I am alone.
It may seem like I'm not, when in reality I actually am.

I am abandoned.

I have been betrayed countless times.

People who claim me as their best friend, eventually lose contact with me.
People who say they will miss me don't even call me.

I am forgotten.

But it's always been like this.
I'm just used, in every possible, single way.
I'm used to keep others company, so they won't feel alone.
But once another person replaces that void, I am thrown away.

Maybe I'm just a toy.
An object that is tossed.







You know.
I just finally realised it doesn't actually matter.

I am okay now.

Lol.

Feeling thoughtful on this fateful night...

So after a long time of working on a daily basis, I finally got to have a day off today. It was relaxing, though I did nothing special in particular aside from sleeping, eating, and read manga. I also did some packing as I'll be going to Beijing tomorrow to look at some university campuses. After two days it'll be Shanghai. Will keep readers updated, even though I doubt there are any. O_o;;

Yeah, so tomorrow shall be a new and glorious day, finally get out of this damned countryside. Haha. Pretty re-inspired, think I'll start a new manga soon. I'm in a blank mood, but for some reason I find it relaxing to write posts for a blog. But I've been thinking a lot today, and thinking makes me somewhat depressed and serious. Haha. It must be boring reading without pictures, damn, I know how that feels. Okay, will post pictures soon. Man, I keep saying that, haha.

'Night everyone, got to get back to last-minute packing and then pick up my blazer from the dry cleaners first thing in the morning before my flight! Man, I feel like drinking some alcohol...