The beginning of a new (happy/miserable) life...?

Today was somewhat more eventful than usual, I suppose. I went to look for housing with another freshman from my class. I realised most of the students are looking for housing within the area, which I also realised is a really shitty idea. The real estate agents that the school appointed us with is complete phail. We went to look at a few apartments, they were all extremely old, moldy, dark, and overall, like a haunted house. I was very disturbed. After looking at a bunch of houses in the area, and coming the the conclusion that for some odd reason, a fashion design school is located within a freaking ghetto area of a big somewhat fashionable city, I decided to move on to the next neighbourhood around. After eating a simple, yet enjoyable lunch of Hong Kong style shrimp dumpling noodles, we continued our search for the perfect flat. "Us" would include, me, the other student, her father, and my mum. The result, was also disappointing. The only difference with these houses, is that they were larger in terms of space, but nonetheless disturbingly unhygienic and old. 

The first few apartment flats were old in appearance, and just by looking from the outside of the apartment gates, one can assume that the interior would not be very impressive. As expected, they were not. For most of these flats, we had to climb old flights of stone stairs as there were no elevators. Yes, that's how old it is. It's those houses that were made before 1990's. Making my way in (very very reluctantly), a sudden stench plowed up my nose. Hmm, that might not be the correct word, but I'm eavesdropping on a Chinese conversation right now, so my train of thought is not completely clear at the moment, pardon my foolishness, fellow non-existent readers. Anyways, I didn't even dear take pictures, since it was horrifying to the extent that I don't want to even remember. 

There were no sources of light from any visible windows. The furniture were all wooden and already starting to rot/decay from moisture from the weather. The walls were covered in pipe leakage stains, and were a sickly shade of yellow from ceiling to floor. The toilet... was clogged. Mattresses had damned piss stains on them, and to top it all off, there were even springs jutting out from the sad excuse of a bed. Yes, it was this sad, and it wasn't even the worse house I've seen so far.

After about six or seven more houses that had this unseemingly morbid interior design, I was about to give up and just live on the streets. I honestly feel that sleeping on the streets or sewers are cleaner in comparison. 

We met with another real estate agent from a more well known company, and he brought us to two houses. The first one was in a red brick building, looked pretty decent from the outside, as it wasn't so old. After walking in to the apartment, a really strong stench of KFC grease was apparent throughout the WHOLE house, for some weird and unknown reason. Added with the heater and stuffiness, it was so overbearing that I felt like vomiting. There were tacky wooden furnishings everywhere, and apparently, they were "imported" from all the way from America. She spent thousands of dollars remodeling, but made the house look extremely tacky and unpleasant. Wow. Sad. 

So, I was already half dead by the time we made it to the second house. When we opened the door I was actually surprised. IT WAS CLEAN! OH LORD ALMIGHTY IT WAS CLEAN! Not only that, the interior overall was actually quite cute. I really like one room and I claimed it immediately. It was small, but just the way I like it. It had a connecting balcony that I feel like I can live in. In fact, I think I'll live on the balcony, hahahaha. I will take pictures of that when I move in tomorrow.

After moving in tomorrow, I'l go to IKEA and Carrefour for some shopping. Anyways, the girl I met is quite nice, her name is Jane, and she's about a year older than me, although she looks much more mature than that, haha. She'll be my flatmate. Also a freshman. I also met another girl from my class today, so I guess in total I only know 2 people in my class out of 27. Everyone looks so much older than me! But I think it's just because most of the girls dress up that way. I don't know why. I hope they don't end up to be those snobby, spoilt rich kids who think they're better than everyone else. D; Although, it'd be quite funny to see how to treat each other when all of them have the same mindset. Haha. Well, I think it'd be nice to make friends with everyone, since I'll have to see their face everyday for at least two more years.

I don't feel attached to any people anymore though. Don't know.

Will update on anything interesting. Have to go buy school supplies on Monday! 

The road to the shining palace is still far from reach.

I didn't take any pictures of Beijing, because it was complete fail and disappointment. Haha. Anyways, I'm in Shanghai now, went to look at the school today, and it was overall satisfactory. I now have a confirmed goal, I will work hard and hope I can fulfill my dream of becoming a musician. 

So I went to look at this school today and the people are pretty good, so I guess the competition will be more difficult, keeping my on my toes. But everyone is so "France-orientated" in terms of fashion design styles, whilst I have my own. I corporate, I suppose, VK and British Goth Punk, and randomness of my own. I compared being a musician as a career and a fashion designer. Even though many adults protest against music as a career, for some reason fashion is alright? It's kind of pointless since it's both the same amount of risk taken. 

I'm planning to integrate music into my designs. Basically, my concept and inspiration is music. My main plan, if I ever get to become somewhat well known in the industry, then I'll ask my favourite bands to model for me. During runway shows, instead of walking around like fags on stage, I'll have them perform! Revolutionary! Haha. I'll make clothes according to a band's "style". Then have artist collaborations! Then, I'll find a band from there after getting aquainted with the scene once again. I hope. D;

I admit the main designers that appear on VOGUE and such now have nice designs, but I want to design clothes that musicians would want to wear, not for Paris Hilton clones who just want to follow the latest trend. I want to make clothes that fit well on normal people, not those 180cm anorexic models who feed off grass and Evian. I mean, seriously, 97% of those designer brand name clothes ONLY look nice worn by models on the runways, but when a normal person wears it looks sick.

Since it's decided now I'll stay in Shanghai, I'm looking for housing now, and school starts in 3 days! ;o

I'm somewhat anticipating. I have been slacking my whole life, I hope to get out of that mode now and try my hardest for something. Please give me support! Thank you non-existent readers! 

Good night! 

 

走る。

And thus, the journey begins.

浮雲

大嫌いな望見　触れないように武器も持たず嘘泣き歩いた
真っ赤に膨れた風船みたい　手を放せば空の彼方溶けてゆくの?

銃口は音もなく小さな煙吐き出しては鮮血に染められた
これ以上抱き締めたって　きっと割れちゃうの、分かってたの。

僕らが描いてたあの空は儚く消えてしまうの?
支えられた浮雲のように手を取りずっと…

明日の支度もあるけど　今日は早めに眠らせて
夢でなら壊せずに　どこまでも育てられるでしょう

今こそ勇気をもって戦場に華咲かせよう
愛して止まない君の最期に夢色の旗掲げよう

誰かが描いてた青空に僕らは立っていられたの?
瞳を閉じれば溢れて零れるよ　ずっと忘れないよ

心配しないで　きっと大丈夫さ
見上げることは止めないから
また会える時まで笑顔で交わそう
Good-bye

ライラック

風に揺れて消えていった
淡く 脆く 儚い君

君と二人で歩いた道のあの花は
もう色をつけたかな？

時がたつたび　この辛さも　あの約束さえも忘れていくの？

１つだけのマフラーに二人で寄り添いながら
夢を語り笑い合った　寒さも忘れて
目を閉じれば君がまた抱き締めてくれる気がした
耳をすませば君がまだ笑ってる気がして…

君をなくしたあの時から
生きる意味さえ分からずに
もう二度と会えない…
分かってるのに
ずっと君を思うよ…。

本当に今までありがとう
最後の君の言葉
バカだね　あたし…
泣いてばかりで　なんにも言えずに…。

やがて君は目を閉じて静かに眠りについた
疲れたでしょ　ごめんなさい
なんにもできずに…

君の好きな春がもう来てるよ…
あたし歌うよ君に届くように…。

Toys are objects that can be thrown away or treasured.

Suddenly, abruptly, it hit me that I am alone.
It may seem like I'm not, when in reality I actually am.

I am abandoned.

I have been betrayed countless times.

People who claim me as their best friend, eventually lose contact with me.
People who say they will miss me don't even call me.

I am forgotten.

But it's always been like this.
I'm just used, in every possible, single way.
I'm used to keep others company, so they won't feel alone.
But once another person replaces that void, I am thrown away.

Maybe I'm just a toy.
An object that is tossed.







You know.
I just finally realised it doesn't actually matter.

I am okay now.

Lol.

Feeling thoughtful on this fateful night...

So after a long time of working on a daily basis, I finally got to have a day off today. It was relaxing, though I did nothing special in particular aside from sleeping, eating, and read manga. I also did some packing as I'll be going to Beijing tomorrow to look at some university campuses. After two days it'll be Shanghai. Will keep readers updated, even though I doubt there are any. O_o;;

Yeah, so tomorrow shall be a new and glorious day, finally get out of this damned countryside. Haha. Pretty re-inspired, think I'll start a new manga soon. I'm in a blank mood, but for some reason I find it relaxing to write posts for a blog. But I've been thinking a lot today, and thinking makes me somewhat depressed and serious. Haha. It must be boring reading without pictures, damn, I know how that feels. Okay, will post pictures soon. Man, I keep saying that, haha.

'Night everyone, got to get back to last-minute packing and then pick up my blazer from the dry cleaners first thing in the morning before my flight! Man, I feel like drinking some alcohol...

In the mood for dessert, anyone?

Recently, I've been making quite a bunch of confectionaries, since it is both a hobby and a way to pass time when I can't sleep. Haha. So I guess I'll share them with you, the reader, in case you have any interest in picking up baking, or something along the lines of that. Okay, it's just an excuse to post more crap, but that's okay. Muwaha.

Soo, I recall seeing this one recipe for some altered asian version of panna cotta the other day in a fashion magazine (irrelevant, ne) and decided to try it out by making a few more changes. It was originally for a vanilla pod and orange flavour panna cotta, but I made a new kind with maccha (Japanese Green Tea) and azuki (Japanese Sweet Red Bean). So I guess it's somewhat more Japanese-Italian than anything, haha. Anyways, it's super easy to make but the result is very delicious. It's very light on the stomach, and refreshing as a spring snack especially when made with fruits. It's made with basic ingredients, so you can toss this together as a quick dessert for dinner or an afternoon snack with any fruits you have lying around and some dairy from the fridge.

I made it just this morning, but it was out of whim and before I even decided I wanted to make a blog, so I didn't take pictures. D;
I'll probably make more in the evening or tomorrow after I restock on fresh cream, then I'll add pictures to this post, just hang on until then! So without further ado...


Japanese Green Tea Azuki Panna Cotta

Yields around 4 servings

Ingredients:
150ml Fresh Milk
100ml Heavy/Whipping Cream
1/2 cup White fine granulated sugar
1/4 cup Japanese azuki bean (packaged or canned)
5g Gelatin powder
3 tbsp. Japanese Green Tea powder
2 tbsp. Water

Cooking:
1. Pour the milk and cream into a small saucepan/pot and put in on the stove, using low heat. Use a wooden spoon and slowly stir in the sugar. After stirring until the sugar dissolves, add in the green tea powder and stir gently until you can no longer see the powder and the milk mixture turns a nice shade of light green. Leave it and wait until the milk mixture turns to a low boil.
2. In the meanwhile, fill a large bowl with cold water and ice cubes, then place another bowl into the big bowl, in order to chill the milk mixture later on.
3. Now, add the two tablespoons of water into the gelatin powder and mix until gelatin granules dissolve.
4. You should see small bubbles beginning to appear on the side of the saucepan filled with the milk mixture by now. Turn off the heat. Don't let it actually boil because the milk will curdle and then it'll taste like cheese, or something. Add in the gelatin liquid and stir until it blends in with the milk mixture.
5. Now slowly pour the mixture into the chilled bowl you prepared earlier in step two. Stir in the azuki beans and mix well. If you bought azuki beans, then it'll be alright to just stir for a bit. If you bought azuki bean paste, then you'll have to stir for a bit and sort of 'knead' the paste with your plastic spatula for a bit so that it blends in with the milk mixture.
6. Wait until the mixture is slightly cool, warm or room temperature. Prepare some petite glass cups (you be the artist) to fill the mixture with. The azuki beans in the mixture will sink to the bottom, so what you do is scoop up the azuki bean first with and spoon them into the small glasses first. Distribute them evenly. You can also just put azuki beans into the glasses beforehand and not mix them with the mixture, but I like to because the overall taste will be somewhat different.
7. Now you pour the remaining green tea mixture into the glasses. If you use small shot glasses instead, you could yield around 8-9. Chill them in the fridge for an hour or so, then it's ready to serve!
*You can make them look fancy by decorating them. What I do is add a dallop of fresh whipped cream on top and sprinkle with the green tea powder, then add a sprig of mint. Voila!

I find them really easy and quick to make, so you can prepare them right before dinner or even the day before. I like to make and serve them on the same day, because I find that it's creamier and softer to eat fresh, after a day or so it's more firm, though the taste doesn't change. I like the azuki beans because it adds a sort of 'surprise' to the whole thing. It's on the bottom, so you have to eat to the end to see it! This is the first time I'm ever teaching someone my recipes, I just realised. Anyways, if you do decide to make this, I hope you enjoy! And tell me how it went. ;o

いじわる空

朝日浴びる自販機の前

お決まりの缶野菜ジュース

昨夜もまた眠れなかった

毛布越し聞こえる針の音

雪に始まり花が舞い 蝉時雨鈴の音に

冷えた空き缶カランコロン

足下に止まる

離ればなれ別々の場所で

見上げた同じ空が

僕ら包み込んでくれている

だから寂びしかないよ

日付代わり空箱潰す

時間切れの赤いランプ

口喧嘩の二人と過ぎて

ポケットの小銭握りしめた

星が流れて蝶が降り 向日葵月へなげて

かじかむ指先に刻む昇る赤い線

でもね でもね でもね本当は

同じこの空の下

僕らいるのに抱き合えないから

だから寂しいのにね

Resurrection, in a sense.

Because I have been bored as hell for the past month or so, I guess I should start a blog. I was reading an interesting one earlier while looking up a decent recipe for chocolate chip cookies, but you know how one thing after another, you come to a completely different topic... Anyways, I was reading the blog and was suddenly inspired to start one up again.

There's a lot of blogs of foreigners writing about their lives in Japan or something, but I haven't read much on China. I guess, in a sense, I'm a foreigner, even though I've lived here before. But next week, I'll be moving to Shanghai and starting a new life by myself (and I actually haven't lived in Shanghai before, haha), so what better than to start a blog and dedicate it to writing about my interesting life, haha.

I have encountered many things after I have come to Asia about six years ago, but I have yet to really write about it. I never thought my ramblings were of anything significant, but surprisingly, a lot of people read it (without my knowing, damn stalkers). I haven't written anything for the past three years, though I used to really enjoy it... I guess I still do, I just haven't had the time nor mood to write.

Since my social life has vanished as of late, why not start a blog? Haha. Hmm... Where should I begin? I think there's so many things to write about. I won't get carried away and write two million blog posts today, but I think I'll be formally starting once I get settled in Shanghai (I have still yet to find a flat). I'm saving up for a decent DSLR camera, I know it's pricey, but I love photography. I'll try to get up pictures as soon as I can!

One thing I don't like about China is that they block a lot of sites, so I can't download stuff. D;
But the good thing is the cheap online shopping, muwahahaha...